”I’ve never seen eyes that blue before. ” “That piece you played on the piano made me feel so calm and serene. ” “Your smile just made my day!” “I couldn’t have finished this project without you. You really helped me out and I appreciate it. ”[1] X Research source [2] X Research source

“I liked how you handled the questions during your presentation today. You really helped the group find a solution that benefits everyone. ”[3] X Research source “Your shirt is such a pretty color. It really brings out your eyes. ” “I love the imagery in your poem, especially this line here. "

Ask for the recipe if you like their cooking, or ask for advice. They will feel valued. [4] X Research source Mention that someone else said something nice about them or talk about how much other people care about them. [5] X Research source Do charitable work together so they’ll see themselves as someone who helps others. [6] X Research source

In addition, even if the person struggles to accept your compliment, you may be activating the striatum region of their brain, which motivates them to perform better. [7] X Research source Compliments can also improve a person’s self-esteem. Again, the person doesn’t have to consciously “accept” the compliment for it to make an impact. [8] X Research source If you have a hard time complimenting in person, send them a note or an email instead.

Think about your reasons for giving praise. Your goal should be to boost their self-esteem and make them feel valued, not to get personal gain.

Eliminate “fat talk” and other negativity toward yourself and other people. Even if you are putting yourself down and not someone else or your friend, it can still have a negative influence. This is particularly important around children and adolescents, who learn these behaviors from the adults in their lives.

“Thank you. I’ve been practicing hard. " “Thanks so much! And I love your hair, too. " “Thanks, that’s so sweet of you to say. " “Really? Well I’ve always been an admirer of your work too!”

To make a compliment more unique, highlight something you have recently learned about the person’s skill set or psychology. [12] X Research source Or apply something you have read recently to the compliment.

“I bet you’re going to do awesome. " “It’s a tough problem, but you’re tough too! Give it your best try. " “You’re pretty good at stuff like this. I’m looking forward to seeing what you do. " “I can tell that was hard for you. Maybe this time didn’t go so great, but I bet it’ll get easier with practice. I have faith in you. "

“Hey, I mean what I say. Disagree if you want, but I like to think that I have good judgment, and one of my decisions is choosing to be your friend. " “I notice that you disagree with me a lot when I say something positive about you. What’s going on?” “This is the third time this week that I’ve said something positive about you and you’ve tried to downplay it. Are you okay?”

A person with low self-esteem may react poorly to compliments because it contradicts their negative self-image and they have a hard time believing that the compliments are true. [14] X Research source Some people worry that compliments mean that you have high expectations that they won’t be able to live up to. [15] X Research source

Some cultures view complimenting an adult as impolite, because they feel it is like coddling and that you are treating them like a child. [16] X Research source In some cultures, to accept a compliment is to place yourself above others, which is unacceptable. [17] X Research source

Some women are taught that they should avoid saying or accepting positive things about themselves because it may make others feel less good by comparison. [19] X Research source