For example, tell your loved one, “If you start manipulating me, I will leave” or “If you start acting out or embarrassing yourself to get attention, I will leave. "

Help your loved one set their own goals. For example, you may want to help them set goals related to the way they dress, the types of sexual relationships they have, or the amount of times they act out in a dramatic or theatrical way.

You can tell them, “I love you and want you in my life. However, there are times I cannot be around you because of your behavior. "

Some people just aren’t equipped to help a person with HPD. Be aware that as a last resort, you may have to completely remove yourself from the situation and sever all ties.

By not responding to your loved one’s dramatic actions, you help them realize that they will not get the attention they want by acting out. You may need to engage in deep breathing exercises or step away from your loved one for a few moments to collect yourself.

Your loved one has a chemical imbalance, which means they may not be able to help their behavior. Instead of getting into an argument or encouraging behavior, just ignore it and let it pass.

For example, you may want to sit in a chair if your loved one is on the couch, or sit on the other end of the couch. When standing, keep a few feet between you and your loved ones. You should be mindful not to do anything that might be suggestive or interpreted as inappropriate. You don’t want your loved one to misinterpret what you are doing. Always be mindful of your boundaries.

Make sure to start any suggestion with a compliment. Those with HPD respond extremely negatively to any criticism. By complimenting them, you can help yourself get a positive response. For example, you may say, “I really love that outfit. You should wear that tomorrow night when you go out with your friends! Why don’t you wear this to work instead today? It looks great on you, and everyone will think you look classy. "

For example, you may say, “What are you basing that opinion on?” or “Do you have any examples to support your opinion?” You may also say, “That doesn’t sound like a correct statement. Can you give me some evidence to support your position?” If your loved one cannot support their opinion, tell them they need to only provide opinions based on facts or details. Encourage them to research issues so they can make informed opinions.

If you notice that your loved one is agreeing with someone without evaluating the statement, then you could try asking some questions to help you loved one evaluate what the person said. For example, your loved one might repeat a political opinion as a fact because they heard someone else say it. You could then ask your loved one questions like, what is the evidence for that? How did they come to that conclusion? Why do you agree with them? If your loved one is doing something because someone has suggested it, then you can also use questioning to help. For example, your loved one might start dressing differently because someone suggested it. You might ask your loved one questions like, do you really want to do that? Would you be doing that if he or she had not suggested it? What might you be doing if he or she had not suggested that?

Your loved one’s behavior may be humiliating for you. However, learning to walk away or detach yourself may be the best way to take care of yourself.

For example, when your loved one gets dramatic about a problem, listen to what they say about the problem. Then say, “I understand you have a problem, but dwelling on it will not help you or anyone else. Let’s work together to find a solution. ”

For example, you may want to say, “We have been talking about you for a long time now. I would like to share with you things about my life. ” You can try to distract your loved one if they are in a middle of an attention-seeking or manipulative episode. You can change the subject, start watching television, or suggest that you go for a walk or to a movie.

If you do this, your loved one may feel abandoned and throw a dramatic fit since you abandoned them. You may end up feeling helpless and manipulated if you try to use this kind of manipulation on your loved one. Avoid using games with your loved one. Stay direct and open with them instead.

“You’re spiraling. " “Are you trying to manipulate me?” “It looks like you’re starting something self destructive. " “Honey, you’re making it about you again. "

“You’re making me uncomfortable. If you keep doing this, I will leave. " “This is John’s special day. If you do that at his party, he’ll feel really hurt and upset. " “You could get seriously hurt if you do that. " “When you do this, it makes me not want to spend time with you. "

“I get that you’re feeling lonely. But faking an injury isn’t a healthy way to get attention. If you want, we could do something simple together, like taking a walk or playing a board game. " “I know you’re excited to be with friends. Please remember to let Jamal talk, too. " “I can tell that you’re upset. I’m exhausted, though, and I don’t have the energy to talk about it. Could you call your sister, or talk to me in the morning?”

“When you ______, I feel ______. Because of this, _________. " “Please, stop interrupting me. I’m getting frustrated. " “That really hurt my feelings. " “You’re embarrassing me. It makes me want to leave. "

Unhelpful: “You’re such a drama queen! I can’t deal with you anymore! I’m never taking you anywhere again. " Helpful: “I’m disappointed and embarrassed that you flirted with my boss, even after I asked you to stop. It makes me not want to take you to work parties anymore, because I don’t know how to deal with this. " Unhelpful: “You’re so embarrassing! If you don’t stop being like this, you’ll end up sad and alone. " Helpful: “You really embarrassed me in the grocery store today. Now I feel bad, and I don’t know what I’ll do next time I see Mrs. Alvarez in public. "

“I love you, and your behavior is hurting yourself and me. Would you be willing to get treatment?” “I know you feel that treatment is no longer exciting or that you are better, but this is a major condition that cannot be fixed quickly. Will you please reconsider going back to treatment?”

Cognitive behavioral therapy can address problematic behaviors, such as impulsive actions, manipulative behaviors, and theatrics.

If this is the case, your loved one can take selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) to treat the depression, which may help their overall mood. SSRIs are common in the treatment of depression, and include medications such as Zoloft, Celexa, and Prozac.

Some people with HPD will harm themselves or try to commit suicide to gain attention. Try to notice when your loved one is getting to this destructive stage. People with HPD may also exhibit dangerous behavior towards others. Watch your loved one to see if they exhibit any tendencies to hurt those around them.

Talk to your friends and family about your difficulties. You may even ask them for advice if things get too much to bear.

Your loved one may see another friend, partner, or even child as a threat. Discourage this behavior. Don’t give into any behavior where your loved one tries to discourage the relationship. For instance, you can say, “I have friends and invite them over once in a while. This does not affect my love for you. ” Your loved one may get jealous or threatened by you participating in activities that don’t include them. Refrain from giving up activities because of your loved one’s HPD.

You may need to accept that your loved one will never treat you how you deserve to be treated. This is why setting boundaries and limits in the relationship is so important.